Tim's Take

LINDSAY LOHAN TRIPPED OVER A CACTUS . . . AND THE PAPARAZZI WAS THERE: 

LINDSAY LOHAN tripped over a cactus early yesterday morning . . . and there's video to prove it.

--Lindsay was on her way into a house party, and she and her handlers were trying to negotiate their way around a throng of photographers.  (--It was a release party for Christina Aguilera's new single, hence all the media attention.)

--It's not clear if Lindsay was under the influence of anything . . . but nothing in this video suggests she was.

--Yesterday afternoon, Lindsay Tweeted about her fall, saying, quote, "Only I would get pushed into a large, sharp plant by crazy paparazzi!!!  I need to start wearing more flats."

(--Here's the video . . . Lindsay goes down at around the 1:20 mark . . .)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCxgGQ_WtkQ

THE OCTOMOM ISN'T BEING EVICTED YET . . . BUT PETA WANTS TO PUT A SPAY OR NEUTER SIGN IN HER FRONT YARD: 

In case you were wondering, nobody is trying to evict NADYA "OCTOMOM" SULEMAN or her 14 kids from their house yet.

--The guy who sold the house to Nadya and her dad said he would hold off on foreclosure proceedings and give them a few months to catch up on some payments.

--One of the things that put them behind is a $450,000 balloon payment that came due.  But during this little "grace period", Nadya and her dad plan to apply for a new loan to take care of it.

--If she wanted to, Nadya could make a little extra cash by teaming up with PETA.  They're offering to pay Nadya for the right to put a sign in her yard reminding people to spay and neuter their pets.

--It reads, quote, "Don't let your dog or cat become an Octomom.  Always spay or neuter."  (???)

(--Here's a picture of it . . .)

JUSTIN BIEBER'S MANAGER IS IN TROUBLE FOR *NOT* TEXTING DURING JUSTIN'S ABORTED MALL PERFORMANCE LAST NOVEMBER: 

If you have an encyclopedic memory for all things relating to JUSTIN BIEBER, you remember an incident that happened back in November . . . when Justin was forced to cancel a mall signing session when an army of 10,000 teenage girls showed up.

--And naturally, hell broke loose.  (--If you want to see the SHEER CHAOS again, turn down the volume on your computer, and watch the video below.   If you suffer from claustrophobia, you should probably pass . . .)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPI5BXR97_g

--Well, Justin's manager, Scott "Scooter" Braun, got in some trouble with the authorities because of that insanity.  He has been charged with reckless endangerment and criminal nuisance.  He pleaded not guilty to both charges.

--Police say Scooter failed to CONTROL the situation . . . in which one girl was hospitalized after being trampled . . . because officials ordered him to send a Twitter message out telling fans that the event had been canceled, and he REFUSED.

--They say that when things were just STARTING to go NUTS at the mall, Justin still had a Twitter message up saying, quote, "On my way to Roosevelt Field Mall in Long Island, NY to sign and meet fans!  I'm pumped.  See u there."

--As odd as the "text message demand" sounds, why wouldn't Scooter just do it?  Well, police believe he was putting publicity for Justin above public safety.  In other words, they think Scooter was cool with there being Justin hysteria at the mall.

--Technically, Scooter could get up to a year in prison if he's found guilty on both charges . . . although that's a little absurd for charges based on NOT Twittering.

--Justin has already issued a statement.  He said, quote, "The lawyers are saying I can't say anything specific about what's going on with my manager Scooter Braun.

--"However what I can say is that Scooter always acts in the best interests of the safety of my fans and myself. 

--"Also, I just wanted to let all my fans know that Scooter has the full support of my mother and me and we couldn't be more grateful for all he's done for us.  Scooter, I miss you man.  Wish you were here."

(--And here's a video of Justin wearing a "Free Scooter" shirt.  ***WARNING***:  Once again, this video contains teenage BLOOD-CURDLING SCREAMS.)

http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=e524f250-ce27-4133-8040-eab37fffd1ba

AKON DID NOT MEAN TO START A BEEF WITH BUDDHISTS: 

AKON is apologizing for appearing in a music video that offended Buddhists.  (--In the video . . . for the song "Sexy Chick" by DAVID GUETTA . . . Akon is shown at a risqué pool party, which features a Buddha statue in the background.)

--He says, quote, "I was not aware that the statue was even [there] until now.  I would never set out to offend or desecrate anyone's religion or religious beliefs."

--Akon also addressed the riot that broke out this week in Sri Lanka over his upcoming concert . . . which has since been postponed.

--He said, quote, "I myself am a spiritual man, so I can understand why they are offended . . . but violence is never the answer and I am disheartened to hear about what happened yesterday in Sri Lanka."

--By the way, the same ticked off, stone-throwing Buddhists apparently also started a Facebook group called "We Hate Akon ( Abuse Music Video Against Lord Buddha)".  As of last night, the group had over 12,700 members.

 (--Here's the link . . .)

http://www.facebook.com/pages/We-Hate-AKON-Abuse-Music-Video-Against-Lord-Buddha/262702627464

(--It's been a tough year for Buddhism.  First they got re-stuck with TIGER WOODS . . . now that he's been outed as an adulterer . . . and now this.)

TAYLOR SWIFT WENT ON A LUNCH DATE WITH TAYLOR LAUTNER . . . AND A BOWLING DATE WITH SELENA GOMEZ AND "GLEE'S" CORY MONTEITH:

TAYLOR SWIFT has been in Los Angeles the past few days, which means she's catching up with friends . . . and old boyfriends.  Taylor had lunch yesterday in Beverly Hills with "Twilight" stud TAYLOR LAUTNER.

--I have no idea how much heat the two Taylors ever had . . . but by all accounts, they're just friends now.  Plus her MOM was with them, so that'll take the steam out of any hookup.  They did all leave together, but again, her mom was with them.

--But it was the night before . . . on Tuesday . . . that Taylor Swift may have locked limbs with "Glee" actor CORY MONTEITH.  They were at some sort of bowling party with a group of friends, including "Wizards of Waverly Place" star SELENA GOMEZ. 

--Apparently, Taylor and Cory were acting like a couple.  A so-called source said, quote, "Taylor and Cory definitely looked close. 

--"They spent most of the night chatting together and had a long hug before saying goodbye . . . but their separate exits seemed quite deliberate so people wouldn't think they were an item."

(--Enjoy some photos of Taylor Swift leaving a restaurant with Taylor Lautner . . .  . . . bowling with Selena Gomez & friends . . . and hugging Cory Monteith.)

AND NOW . . . HERE'S OUR AWFUL MUGSHOT OF THE DAY:

Meet 29-year-old Fania Robinson of Zephyrhills, Florida (--just northeast of Tampa).

--Last month, Fania was cooking when she got into an argument with an unidentified man.  Fania got so upset that she grabbed a pot of BOILING WATER and dumped it on the guy's chest and arms, causing third-degree burns.

--On Monday, Fania was arrested and charged with aggravated battery.  She's being held without bail.  (St. Petersburg Times)

(--The only reason we're running this story is because if you can't take just one look at Fania's mugshot, and know immediately she's probably going to pummel you eventually . . . that's YOUR mistake.  See for yourself, here . . .)

HERE'S A RUSSIAN SINGING GIBBERISH TO MUSIC BY MOZART:

Here's Russian singer VALERY LEONTIEV singing along to MOZART'S "Turkish March".  Stick with it to the end, the guy is ridiculous. 

(--Search for "Another Russian Mr. Trololo.")

(--Here's the video, and also the one of the "Trololo" singer.)

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=33f_1269467169

GEORGE W. BUSH WIPED HIS HAND ON BILL CLINTON'S SHIRT:

GEORGE W. BUSH and BILL CLINTON were shaking hands with people in Haiti, and Bush appeared to wipe his sweaty hand on Clinton's shirt. 

(--Search for "Clinton as a hand towel George W. Bush."  It happens at :14.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DtwkTS9mq8

AKON HAS BEEN DENIED A VISA TO ENTER SRI LANKA: 

Sri Lanka will NOT grant AKON a visa to enter the country.

--Akon had a gig lined up there next month . . . but earlier this week, a group of protestors went on a rampage outside the headquarters of the broadcaster that set up the show.  And that apparently figured into the decision to ban Akon.

--A government official said he was denied because he allegedly "defamed Buddhism in his music videos."  (--In Akon's "Sexy Chick" video, a statue of Buddha is featured in the background of a risqué pool party.)

A DOG HOWLED AND SOOTHED A CRYING BABY:

When a baby started crying, the dog sitting next to the stroller began to howl, and the baby settled down.  (--Search for "dog sings to soothe crying baby.")

http://www.break.com/index/dog-sings-to-soothe-crying-baby.html

A WHITE HOUSE STAFFER WALKED INTO THE BACKGROUND DURING OBAMA'S HEALTHCARE SPEECH:

During PRESIDENT OBAMA'S speech about the healthcare reform bill, a White House staffer who looked a lot like Press Secretary Robert Gibbs walked into the hallway in the background, realized what was going on, and walked back out.  (--Search for "confused man behind Obama.")

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BosEz0_neqo

AN AUTISTIC TEEN FROM CHICAGO HAS PICKED THE WINNER OF EVERY NCAA TOURNAMENT GAME SO FAR:

The first two rounds of the NCAA tournament are already in the books, and chances are your bracket is a total mess.  Which should help you appreciate THIS . . .

--17-year-old Alex Hermann lives in a northern suburb of Chicago called Glenview.  He has autism, and he knows a thing or two about college basketball. 

--Actually, that's the understatement of the year, considering Alex has correctly picked the winner of EVERY NCAA tournament game so far.  (!!!)

--Alex actually picked Northern Iowa to beat Kansas, Ohio to beat Georgetown, and Cornell to beat both Temple and Wisconsin.

--To give you some perspective on how amazing that is, a website called BookofOdds.com says the chances of anyone doing what Alex did are ONE in 13,460,000.  Put another way, you have a better chance of winning the lottery.  TWICE.

--Unfortunately, Alex entered a bracket challenge on CBSSports.com that doesn't award the winner with a prize.  But even if he had won money, his mom, Diane, says he probably wouldn't have spent it anyway.

--So you know, Alex has Tennessee, Kansas State, Kentucky and Purdue in the Final Four.  Then he's got Kansas State and Purdue in the championship game, with Purdue winning.  Because that's where his brother, Andrew, went to college. 

(NBC Chicago)

(--Take a look at Alex's full bracket here . . .)

http://media.nbcchicago.com/images/WinningBracket.jpg